5WM Thoughts: Is RuPaul a Psychotherapist?

fourth thought: Tuesday April 21

Last week on RuPaul’s Drag Race was the Snatch Game episode, probably the most anticipated episode of every season. I was really sad to watch Max, one of my favourites this season, sashay away (she won two challenges prior to this episode and has been a strong contender in other challenges…one misstep and she’s gone! Frustrating, but that’s a rant for a different day.)

During the episode, RuPaul completed his usual rounds in the workroom, had a discussion with Katya (another one of my faves!) and “doctor” RuPaul magically appeared. He provided insight into Katya’s self-esteem as an “addiction to anxiety.” Really RuPaul?

Let me start by saying that I am a big fan of the show. Whenever I’m having a bad Monday from bouts of work stress, depression, and ANXIETY, watching RuPaul’s Drag Race gives me an enjoyable escape. The creativity and talent are incredible! Between unbelievable transformations and mouth-dropping “lip synch for your life” routines, what’s not to love? Well, it’s psychotherapist RuPaul that irks me. He has some great feedback on drag based on his experience but sometimes he goes a step further and begins to offer psychological analysis and advice…credentials please! Has anyone called him on this? He does it every season with the final three contestants (or final four in season 6) when they have a one-on-one “lunch” with “doctor” RuPaul. I never let it affect me much until he used the term “addiction to anxiety.” Firstly, is this a thing? Anxiety is a serious and debilitating mental illness (check the DMS - a manual used by clinicians and researchers to diagnose and classify mental disorders). From constant worry and fear to panic attacks, it’s not a pleasant illness. I know because I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. It’s not an addiction: I don’t crave it, I don’t need it, but it’s there…always…and some days it’s more manageable than others. With medication, regular visits with a certified psychotherapist, cognitive behaviour therapy, and mindfulness-based self-compassion therapy, I’m learning to cope with it and I try to be a functional individual in society. When an anxiety disorder is not treated it can lead to physical ailments and other mental illnesses such as depression. To reduce anxiety to an “addiction” is doing an injustice to those of us suffering from it.

Secondly, I tried to research anxiety “addiction” and I found two ridiculous online posts – one being an article from an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry! Anyone who suffers from an anxiety disorder will find this article disagreeable and the strategies suggested may work for someone experiencing a slightly elevated level of anxiety. All human beings experience anxiety. A certain level of anxiety is normal and has been helpful for our species to evolve. But some of us experience consistently high and intolerable levels of anxiety. This article refers to anxiety-provoking news (e.g., fear mongering on television), separation anxiety from one’s cellphone, and “emotional vampires.” Emotional Vampires?!? “AnxietyIncorporated” commented that anyone truly suffering from an anxiety disorder would find the article offensive, and that’s how I felt when I heard RuPaul use the term on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

If you are suffering from anxiety, there is a lot of great literature about it everywhere online (see below for a start) and please get your information from a credible source and consult your doctor. I waited too long and it wasn’t until my anxiety manifested into depression that I sought help. I lost two years trying to regain my life back and I’m almost at a point where it’s manageable. It doesn’t go away but you can live with it if you have the proper supports be it medication, therapy, etc.

During my search, I found a blog post where an individual discusses her anxiety disorder and it’s a very sad story. Unfortunately, it reads as though she didn't have the best of luck with useful treatment yet she’s strong enough to accept her anxiety, live with it, and carry on without medication or therapy. Kudos to the strength she harnesses to do so. But please don’t call it an “addiction.” You’re sending the wrong message to yourself and other sufferers. Until my thirties, I was able to “control” my anxieties – push them down and move forward. This worked really well until I ran out of room for all my anxieties and they came spilling out like Pandora’s Box.

If I were to label one of my addictions, it’s RuPaul’s Drag Race – it’s one of the few shows that I enjoy on TV – but I will continue to take and monitor my medication, I will continue to work with my physician and psychotherapist as I continue to live with this disorder, and I will continue to criticize false psychotherapy. I will never refer to my anxiety as an addiction and I hope no one else does too – did you hear that, Katya?