Gays Not Allowed?!?!?

second thought: Thursday April 2

Gays Not Allowed?!?!?

I'm drinking a coffee, not a latte.
My twitter feed is full of hotties...male hotties.
I don't drive a mini cooper
but my public transit card makes me feel super-duper.
I'm not a Christian and I'm not a Jew...
And Indiana, I'm never spending my fucking money on you!

Do I have to change my name? NO!
Will it get me far? *shrugs*
Should I lose some weight? Duh, I'm gay!
Will it get me far? Yeah, especially on Grindr!

I'm living out the Canadian dream
And in the U.S., nothing is what is seems...

Yes, this week's "Thursday Thoughts" references Madonna's "American Life" but there's a huge part of me that is tremendously happy that my parents decided to immigrate to Canada and not the US.

The American Dream? Fuck it!

When I read about marriage equality issues in the US, it's disheartening. When I read about general human rights in a first world "republic" like the US, it's saddening. The same group of people in the US that burn the Koran wield the bible to suppress various groups of people born and raised in the US. And you think you're different, better, and morally supreme to ISIS? Yes, I'm talking to you, Indiana, and any other state (hello, Alabama!) planning to pass similar bigotry as law. I recall such legislation was passed in Germany...before I was born...when they revoked rights from the Jews. And look how that turned out...

Recently I spent five days in a hospital in Toronto for emergency surgery and I was welcomed with the best medical service a gay man could ask for. The nurses were exceptional (Mount Sinai - give those nurses a well-deserved raise!!!) They knew I was gay the moment I walked in. I don't think I look gay (I have long hair - how many gay men have long hair?!?) but I arrived with my worried partner who was with me the entire time. He kissed me goodbye, in front of everyone, when we knew I'd be there overnight waiting for tests and results. The nurse called him when I went in and came out of surgery. They allowed him to visit me in the recovery room. He kissed me hello in front of the nursing staff. The night nurse, who took excellent care of me, commented on how sweet and attractive my partner was. He visited me every day without question - are you family? YES! He's been my unmarried partner for ten years! He picked up my parents who live outside the city to visit me. He drove them home and returned to the city. And my Catholic parents praised him for the support he gave them and me during this time. Some nurses were jealous that I had such a supportive partner. And never was I questioned of my sexuality...not even when they took blood or considered giving me blood during my five-day stay. The surgeon even laughed when I told her I was gay and why would I consider having children. She scolded me, humourously, that gays could have kids too and I should keep my options open, even if I was close to turning forty.

Then there's Indiana where I can buy a cake wearing a gun but I will be refused cake if I'm holding the hand of a man who has been my support for ten years. If I wasn't holding his hand but came into a bakery holding a gun, would I be served? Some people look "gay" while others do not. Will Indiana start playing the "who looks gay" game? Will carrying a gun make the difference? I hate guns as much as I hate bigots, so I will avoid Indiana and any other similar US state. Every time I've driven through the South of the US, I felt uncomfortable - will they stone me / kill me for being gay? I'm not being facetious. I am literally scared driving the second part of my trip every time I head to the gay beaches of Miami. If Jim Parsons walked into a bakery in Indiana, would they deny him service? Well, probably because he plays a character on TV that believes in science and not theology. This is probably a larger issue than Jim being gay.

But I'm glad the US is a republic...I can like parts of it and dislike the rest of it (yes, you too Alaska with your Sarah Palins!) We may have to put up with people like Rob Ford and Ford Nation in Canada, but regardless of the damage they've done (and may do in the future), they will not take my gay rights away. Try to pray my gay away but it won't work...my mother has tried for years! If we can't pray the gay away from priests, cardinals, bishops and popes...maybe gays are part of God's plan. But God doesn't exist...only atoms and molecules. I'm so very glad my atoms believe in living for love without boundaries (or prejudices!)

That said, I must stop my rant. I'm being rolled into my next anal probing. Oh get your head out of your ass! I'm having a colonoscopy! Oh, I wonder if those are banned in Indiana for being too "gay?"

Who’s That Girl with the Rebel Heart? Bitch, she’s Madonna! (My Ideal Rebel Heart Tour)

first thought: Thursday March 26

I’ve been listening to Madonna’s new album, Rebel Heart, for two weeks, non-stop! Part of it feels retrospective and my thoughts have lingered on my fan affair with Madonna (my personal retrospective!).

I’ve been an avid Madonna fan since I was eight years old…her Material Girl days! My first 7-inch 45 rpm record was a Madonna single (Material Girl), my first cassette was Madonna (True Blue), my first CD…Madonna (The Immaculate Collection).

My teens were filled with a Madonna that did everything perfectly and she continued to impress me as she evolved and reinvented herself and her music. But it’s been a while since I’ve been impressed with a Madonna album as I am of Rebel Heart. Music is probably the last album which I could listen to from beginning to end, over and over, week after week. I enjoyed American Life, in doses, Confessions on the Dance Floor was fun, and Hard Candy and MDNA had some great moments (Candy Shop, Girl Gone Wild), but none of them made a strong connection with me as those from Madonna’s past. On the other hand, Rebel Heart is a perfect mix of everything that I love about Madonna: fun smart pop dance songs, deep personal lyrics, love and heartache, S.E.X., and a willingness to experiment. So I am extremely excited to see what she decides to put together for her Rebel Heart Tour (yes, I have tickets! I’ve seen every show since The Girlie Show if it made it to my city!). With this in mind, I have come up with my own themes and track list if I were to stage her show:

Part 1: Who is Madonna?

I can picture a stripped down stage with Madonna, centre-stage, guitar in hand, singing Rebel Heart. Then the stage morphs into controlled chaos and mayhem as she ventures through each song in this set, reflecting and figuring out “Who is Madonna?” and what helped shape her into a Rebel woman with a Heart: “Don’t tell me to stop;” “The more that I wait, the more time that I waste;” “Keep people together, forever and ever;” “Something’s coming over me;” “You can’t touch this ‘cause I’m a bad bitch.” It reads magically as the story of Madonna:

Rebel Heart Intro

Veni Vidi Vici

American Life

Devil Pray

Don’t Tell Me

Jump

Hollywood

Keep it Together

Secret

Ghosttown

Ray of Light

Who’s That Girl?

Bitch, I’m Madonna

Part 2: HeartBreakCityGirl finds Love

Madonna has suffered heart ache. We heard it in MDNA and it continues as a theme in Rebel Heart. She’s also written about heartache in past albums and this is a perfect platform to bring them all together. I chose a few of my favourites beginning with Paradise. It’s a perfect theme and a great way to segue from Part 1. It has electronic experimentation in its music and an aching acknowledgment of love lost in its lyrics. “Your heart is not broken” but it’s frozen when it’s not open…only Power of Goodbye and Frozen can build these up until they culminate into another standout track of Rebel Heart: HeartBreakCity. We continue through the set with heartache but it’s not going to keep her down. She’s living for love and she’ll carry on…sorry, not sorry! So, really, nothing matters as she falls deeper and deeper into love with a beautiful stranger. And haven’t we all had our best sexcapades with beautiful strangers? What a way to segue into S.E.X.!

Paradise (Not For Me)

Power of Goodbye

Frozen

HeartBreakCity

Take a Bow/You’ll See Medley

Sorry

Living for Love

Nothing Really Matters

Deeper and Deeper

Beautiful Stranger

Part 3: Never Too Old for S.E.X.

“Express yourself, don’t repress yourself” has been Madonna’s mantra and it works well as an intro to the sex part of the tour. Of course there will be an Interlude* here and I’ve considered a medley of Justify My Love, Like a Virgin, Erotica, Human Nature and Best Night as an intro for Part 3. I think the others work well with Paradise as the intro to Part 2 andTurn Up the Radio for Part 4.

                                              

She wouldn’t be Madonna without sex and a Rebel Madonna continues to push society’s image of sex; only she can teach us an important lesson on sexology: men and especially women can have sex at any age! Holy Water is one of my favourite tracks. It reminds me of tracks from Erotica and I find myself pretending to be like “Magic Mike” dancing in my kitchen. But like the rest of us, she’s human, and we can’t pretend that the negative comments have not affected her so she segues into another reflective part of the concert, Joan of Arc being the stand out track here (and my favourite track on the album!)

I’ve included tracks that haven’t been performed or have only been performed once in concert. Most of us long-time fans would love to hear her play some of these songs…especially Rescue Me, a track that should’ve been the second huge hit from The Immaculate Collection. She believes in the power of love, she and the rest of us will all be rescued, no matter what our “perceived” sins may be. “You can’t make me cry” but “even hearts made out of steel can break.” She may not be Joan of Arc, yet, but she knows what it feels like for a girl and she is standing up for women’s rights, rights that have staggered more so than some LGBT rights. But the set ends with I’ll Remember before leading into the final “party” of the night. There can be pleasure when we get through the pain and I’ll Remember, a track she’s never sung live (this fan would love to hear it live!), will save us through strength and love from past friends and lovers. Now we can stand out on our own and get ready to party!

Interlude*

S.E.X.

Holy Water

Body Shop

Cherish

(with a “Body Shop” feel)

Sooner or Later

Fever

(sultry version that ties into Sooner or Later

and then picks it up at the end before Rescue Me begins)

Rescue Me

Oh Father

Joan of Arc

What it Feels Like For a Girl

I’ll Remember

Part 4: Turn Up the Music, I’m Madonna Bitch! Let’s Party!

To get the party started, we need to turn up the radio, let the music play to bring all people together, and get our groove on with old school, party-dancing Madonna! You Can Dance had amazing remixes of her early dance hits and her image on the album’s cover fits perfectly with her current “matador” look (which also works in Part 2 with Take a Bow, You’ll See, and Living For Love!) Life is a ball, let your body move to the music, and get up on the dance floor!

Turn Up the Radio

(sampling “Dance and sing, get up and do your thing” from Everybody)

Music 

(sampling “let your body move to the music” from Vogue)

Into The Groove

(You Can Dance Remix)

Where’s the Party

(You Can Dance Remix – with samples from Celebration, Holiday)

Wouldn’t it be amazing to watch the show morph from the Rebel Heart Madonna to her squealing at the end of Where’s the Party? I’d be in Madonna heaven with a playlist like this, live and in concert. We avid fans would be squealing for more!

Until then, I’ve set up my own playlist on iTunes and I am listening to it on repeat. 



I'd love to hear your thoughts on this playlist - agree/disagree? changes? additions? Feel free to leave comments below!